I’m not the biggest fans of babies, and the time that I hate them the most is when they just been injected into the fertile egg of a celebrity. After a celebrity baby is born, I’m sure it is a very annoying piece of shit for the parents. Before it is born, it is a very annoying piece of shit for me. I enjoy looking at interesting news stories. Hearing that Fergie banged Josh Duhamsandwhich until she got pregnant does not fall under the category of “interesting”. It falls under the category of “shitty news that preteen girls can talk about while they are trading stickers” My excitement for hearing about a celebrity pregnancy can be summed up by the sentence, “I don’t give a single shitty fuck.”

The single worst period of news history was when Snookie somehow managed to convince somebody to get her pregnant. There were constant streams of news stories pouring in about every little fucking thing that Snookie did while she was carrying a fetus in her enlarged belly. The only reason that they keep posting these fucking stories is because you Unicorn loving preteen bitches keeps reading and talking about them. If you are one of them, do the world a favor; stop talking about celebrity pregnancies and go flick your bean to a Nicholas Spark movie or something.